Arrive Late? Dance

Directors and Students

It started two weeks ago on the official dia de abertura (opening day) for the Escola Secundaria Geral de Alto Molocue. There, the directors of the school, many of the teachers, and a modest handful of students gathered under the trees behind the school for some speeches, songs, announcements, and all around pomp. Afterwards, we moved next to the main group of classrooms for a little pep talk from the director of the school, and my neighbor. Once he introduced the 3 new teachers (myself, another French teacher, and an English teacher), we than ran through the two rows of teachers that had formed, being hit on the head by each teacher as we passed. I love welcoming rituals. And then, that was it, we were dismissed.

Teachers and Students

Though I hadn't understood much of what was going on, it became apparent that this wasn't the actual start of school. Maybe it was that only 30 or so teachers were there, when I knew there were upwards of 80. Maybe it was that many of the speeches were using the conditional form when talking about the school, such as “this year , we will have three new teachers.” Or maybe it was that we still hadn't made a school schedule, formed turmas (classes), or received supplies. Either way, the opening day was really just a tease.

Over the next two weeks, I did a lot of hanging around and waiting. Waiting for the turmas to be formed so I could make the schedule. Waiting for the teachers to be told of their assigned classes so we could address any conflicts that arose. Waiting for my students to find out their schedule so that they would actually attend class. Waiting for the school handyman to figure out how to open the locked door to my classroom so I can try to teach the 5 students who showed up. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

And then, class time! This Monday January 30, 2012 at 7:20 PM Mozambique Standard Time (MST?), a minute that will forever remain in infamy, I finally became a teacher. The students of 11 A/B courso de noite (night classes) were my first victims. Since this is night school, most, if not all, of the students are older than me. But instead of trying to find the fine line between respecting them as adults and maintaining order, I had resolved that would just treat them as I would any other student and hope they play along. To start this, I introduced myself as Professor Samuel Bar, an American volunteer who arrived in Mozambique 4 months ago who after living in Portugese for all that time is now having to relearn and teach French. Then, I went into my painstakingly prepared “Regras de la Sala”

1.       Nos estamos aqui para aprender, voces como alunos, eu como professor

We are here to learn, you as students, me as professor

2.       Respecta os otrous alunos, so uma pessoa pode falar cada vez

Respect the other students, only one person talking at a time

3.      Si qereria entrar na sala tarde, precisara a danḉar

If you would like to enter the classroom late, you need to dance

As if I had planned it, just as the howls and laughs had died down after I finished writing the third rule, a timid man appeared at the door, looking to enter.

“Licensa, posso entrar la sala?”                                  “Excuse me, can I enter the class?”

“Alunos, que e a regra?                                               “Class, what is the rule?”

“PRECISA DANCAR!”                                                  “Dance monkey, dance!!”

Confused, disoriented, and embarrassed, he tried to make his way to a seat, but I had to establish that my rules weren't to be messed with.

“Nao, nao pode sentar, precisa dancar”           “Nice try buddy, but I’m serious.

                                                                                Dance monkey, dance!”

“Mais, eu nao pode”                                        “Why are you doing this to me?

                                                                                 I’m only a little late”

“Nao pode dancar? Como e possivel?             “Do you think I’m just trying to embarrass you? You 

Todos podem dancar. Ver”                                should know I have no shame. This skinny white kid is 

 gonna show you up and dance in front of the whole  class, and you will stand there and watch till you join  me. Dance monkey, dance!”

Finally he joined me in my little double snap, shoulder roll, and shuffle, and sat down to the cheers, laughter, and wonder of all his colleagues.

After we had all agreed to the rules, we moved on to our first French lesson: greetings.

           Bon Jour/Bon Nuit

           Je m’appelle ___________

           Je suis une etudiante de Franḉais

Every time I said it, they would repeat, gratefully avoiding the need for directions. I then had each student recite each phrase twice by themselves so we could work on pronunciation. Though it took almost 25 minutes to get through the entire 50 person class, it was well worth it. By the end of the lesson, everyone was able to say the phrases and were excited to actually learn a new language on the first day of class.

What seemed like a mili-second after my first class had started, the bell rang signaling my 45 minute lesson was up. By Tuesday night, I had done the lesson 5 more times, with more or less the same reactions from the students, though my Portuguese got cleaner each time and my funny lines were better planned. For a person who loves to retell jokes, regardless of how many times the audience has heard it before, 6 turmas with two lessons a week is like having the best set of stand-up gigs in the world.

So far, being a teacher has been awesome and I can’t wait to try out some of my more ridiculous and entertaining teaching ideas in the future.

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Coco Update: 

The still unnamed pup is alive and has seems to have doubled in size since last week. The naming contest is still open for entries, so keep sending in your double O names.

Show these cats how to do dat down south dance
Dat we learned a lil too fast and bought it to da hood
And got da whole crew askin... 
Teach me how to dougie
Teach me, teach me how to dougie

“Teach Me How to Dougie”- California Swag District

P.S. I have to give my site Mate Dylan credit for the dancing rule. After one of our many delicious dinners, I lamented that I had not yet come up with a good punishment for arriving to class late. He fixed that problem like a pro.